Vaan, the Viera
by Trinity Esper
Summary: Because the party is well fed up with him, Vaan is left behind in Eruyt Village. Problem: Viera have less patience than Humes, especially when it comes to an idiotic SkyPirate afficionado! [Eventual VaanxMjrn]
1. The New Villager

**Vaan, the Viera**

Summary: Because the party is well fed up with him, Vaan is left behind in Eruyt Village. Problem: Viera have less patience than Humes, especially when it comes to an idiotic Sky-Pirate afficionado!

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.

A/N: Probably the best idea I've ever had. I hope I can work it. XD Rated T because it contains a little bit of language, mild violence, and perverted/ridiculous humor.

----------

Jote put her hand on her forehead, sighing heavily. She had been all day busy with problems in the Village; your local plague of Malboros, the Panthers eating all the fruit - making it difficult for the Food Hunters of the Village -, Mjrn running around with the panties of fellow Viera on her head, and more stupid things. Seriously, being Elder is _difficult_. And whoever thought this Village was calm, got shot right between the eyes.

The situation couldn't get worser. Or that was what Jote thought, when she suddenly heard a scream from a few Viera down by the Gate of the Village. Then she heard a Hume's voice, most probably male:

"YEAH! WHICH ONE OF YOU BABIES WANTS MORE O' THIS?!"

The Elder's ears poked with curiosity. Hala and her looked at each other in confusion, however decided not to risk going down there themselves. It was, maybe, an Imperial teasing them. What are you looking at? It sometimes _does_ happen.

'_Damned Humes... a Race of graciousness we are, not Playboy bunnies._'

Jote sat down on the stairs next to the House she usually stood by, waiting for the Wood-Warders. They always come up there to complain after something like that happened. However, no Wood-Warders came. Just Alja.

She looked confused and annoyed at the same time, and it's hard to picture a Viera like that. Her hair was messy and her clothes stained with dirt. What on Earth happened to her? She even had Bow and Arrow in hand.

"Alja, what..."

"Elder, a problem we bear down by the Gate..." Alja interrupted.

"What is it? If an Imperial it is, leave him be. He shall go away eventually." Hala ordered.

"But an Imperial it is not. It is a Hume, younger than an Imperial! He is part of the party who visited us before."

"The one with my sister?!" Jote asked, shocked. She ran all the way to the entrance of the Village, Hala and Alja following.

Once they got there, Jote tripped and her face hit a pile of smashed fruit, sounding a loud 'SPLAT!'. Annoyed, she sat up and tried to clean everything off of her face and hair. Alja knelt next to her and helped her, however suddenly a certain figure was loooking directly into Jote's features. When she rubbed her eyes clean and opened them, an immediate scream escaped her.

Of course, who wouldn't, when you suddenly saw an idiot with a grin from ear to ear, just inches away from your own face. Infact, the Elder of Eruyt Village even (somehow) jumped backwards, hitting Hala and bringing her down with her weight. The idiot, Vaan, grinned.

"Hey those honeys are getting it on!" he smiled. Alja found it in herself to throw a piece of fruit into his ridiculous face, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I know you love me, baby."

Suddenly Alja kicked him right in the stomach while she got up. Jote felt a little better, almost laughing. She refrained to do so however, and only asked, stumped:

"W-What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off with your Hume friends?"

"They hate me. So, they like, shoved a whole bottle of wine down my throat while I was asleep, and hey, now I'm seeing Bob Marley!"

Jote and Hala looked at each other confused.

"Shouldn't you only be able to see Bob Marley while you are drugged?" Hala asked.

"Be quiet, Hala. No time for little jokes." Jote scolded her right-hand woman.

The Elder pondered on the situation. Now there was some guy wandering about and scaring the fellow Viera, not to mention claiming he is seeing Bob Marley. What is up with that? Worse, the fruit he smashed up was probably the one Alja and some others had found for the Village supply. With the Panthers eating all of it - they had a hard time finding that fruit, and now, it was all wasted.

"Sweet Mother of the Wood..." Jote sighed, slapping her forehead.

"Jote, if they left him here, they probably tired of him." the right-hand woman explained.

"Why else would they leave us such burden?" the Elder sighed again.

"That Fran... damned daughter of a Cockatrice!" Hala exclaimed.

Jote's face went red. It was like steam was now pouring out of her long bunny ears. Hala realized what she just said. Jote was Fran's sister, and in conclusion, she had just insulted Jote's and Mjrn's mother. Vaan danced around stupidly.

"Haha! The dudette is really going to get it now, right Bob?" he laughed while hugging a tree.

"Hala... I WILL HAVE YOUR EARS FOR THIS!"

The next two hours were quite exhausting for most of the Viera. They had to take Jote and Hala apart, and most importantly, half of them left the Village to go on Food Hunt. Unfortunately they only found twenty pieces of fruit, and this for over fifteen Viera, some of which had not eaten since last week.

Meanwhile in the Elder's house, a Viera was questioning Jote's decision regarding Vaan.

"Elder, shall you let him stay with us?"

Drum roll...!

"Yes."

All of the Viera frowned. Jote was too nice for her own good, and now, a moronic guy was their newest addition to the Village.

----------

A/N: Well, was it nicely written? Remember, 'Submit Review' is your friend... constructive criticism appreciated/needed.  
I am adoring this idea...  
Tune in to the next chapters where the Viera teach Vaan to be one of them. Will they succeed?


	2. The Rain Dance

**Vaan, the Viera**

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own.

A/N: This is shorter than I had expected... -headdesk- Worth the wait?

----------

The next morning, the peaceful Eruyt Village woke up in the most awkward way possible.

"HEY, COME ON! WAKEY-WAKEY! GET UP AND FETCH ME SOMETHING TO EAT!"

It was a complete miracle, how Vaan managed to escape the ropes which tied him to a tree the whole night. One of the Viera are either crazy enough to untie him, or he might have used magicks. Whatever the case, he seemed to have slept well and was prepared for another day of tormenting the Viera.

Jote could only rub her forehead, wondering where in the heck Vaan got that huge bongo he was using. He hit it fiercely with a stick making an unbearable noise. One or two Viera hissed at the painful sound, covering their extremely sensitive ears. The next second Hala ran into her Elder's house.

"What will we do about this?"

"I do not care... just make him stop!" Jote whimpered.

Hala gave signal, and about six Viera jumped on Vaan to stop him. However, Vaan summoned up Belias and made even more of a ruckus. All of the Viera made for helping the others, drawing their bows and attacking the Esper and its idiotic summoner. The creature made a huge barrier of fire around him and the young Hume, so that the arrows couldn't even hit them.

The Elder stared on, mouth open as she witnessed the slow destruction of the Village. The arrows caught fire when they hit the Esper's giant shield, and as they fell on the ground, set some leaves alight. Hala shook Jote, trying to get her attention. The right-hand woman was panicking and didn't know how to stop the rampaging boy. Jote didn't reacct, she was thinking silently of a solution, eyes glued to the situation. Some trees had flames already attached to them, and Vaan seemed to be practising some sort of weird dance.

"What is he doing?" asked Alja, as she slowly backed away from Vaan.

"He seems to be doing the Rain Dance..." Nera pointed out.

Vaan indeed jumped around in various directions, then stopped, afterwards swinging his arms around like he was having a seizure. Alja would have punched him, if it wasn't for Belias' barrier. All Viera looked at the boy confused, retrying to expect something to happen as consequence from the silly dance.

"I didn't know the Rain Dance was made like that..." another Viera whispered to no one in particular. Suddenly Vaan shouted.

"Hey, if you don't do this dance, the Wood is going to burn! So you better start now, ladies!"

All of the Viera looked astounded. Should they do such a thing? Better yet, would it work? Vaan looked annoyed.

"Come on, bunnies... the Wood doesn't last much longer!" he shouted.

"Anything for the Wood!" some of them said at once.

Jote was still immobilised, watching as the Spiritwood grounds turned into a Viera, Hume (and Esper if you count Belias) dancing stage. She thought she had gone crazy for good. It looked like a mad place, the way all of the once sane bunny humanoids danced a mixture of the Macarena and the act of... having a seizure, such presumed.

Some ten minutes passed, and still nothing had happened, even though the morning sun made the skin of all Viera glisten with the sweat covering them. Both Elder and right-hand woman could not cease to think how dense they were being. Instead of stopping and finding a God-forsaken source of water to put the fire out, they hoped to make it rain by doing that dance. How was Vaan able to trick them into such a stupid thing?

Hala suddenly blinked, noticing every Viera in the Wood was down in the Spiritwood dancing, except for Mjrn.

"Elder, your sister... she is not there..."

"I thought Mjrn was the one only who could be tricked by this idiot Hume... instead she is the only one missing in that 'party'..."

The Elder made herself comfortable on the platform she was looking down on. She was lying on her stomach, hands cupping her face, elbows supporting her weight. Hala saw this with amusement. First, Jote was whining about how stupid the other Viera were to be dancing along, now she just watched with attention. What was up with her?

"Are you mad, Jote?" Hala said, now as if she was Jote's mother and scolding her.

"No, I just think... should we wait long enough, all of this will stop."

"Bob Marley?" Hala questioned.

"No, I'm not high, Hala." Jote looked at her.

"I was just wondering. You normally do not behave this way." Hala stated.

After much debating with herself, the right-hand woman decided to sit beside her Elder, and watch as the spectacle went on.

Nothing. Absolutely no rain fell on the Wood, and on top of that, some trees were charred already. Hala, as much as she wanted to contain herself, started shivering with the nervousism. The Mother Wood was burning, and the Elder didn't want to stop it. Infact, Hala even felt the cold sweat running down her back like she was about to die, and yet, it was warm because of the fire...

"Oh Elder, are you sure you do not want to do anything about this?" Hala muttered.

"It is not like I can _do_ anything... doomed, we are."

Some Viera sank to the ground, they were exhausted from all the dancing. They panted in a fast rythm and their whole bodies were wet like they just had a shower. Others frowned but continued, a little frightened that the fire had not been put out yet. Lastly one or two of them gave up, wondering just how much rain can fall from the sky by acting like you're having a seizure.

Hala's ears suddenly poked upwards with a noise she heard from behind.

"Did you hear this, Jote?"

Waking to reality, Jote turned her head around to find Mjrn with some sort of contraption. She held a long snake-like tube, with a funnel at the tip. Wherever the other end of the tube led, was impossible to tell.

"Mjrn, what is that?" Both Viera asked at once.

"This is my newest invention. I had been saving it for an appropriate occasion, and I see it is currently needed."

With that said, Mjrn pushed a button on the machine and the tube started spitting out snow. She pointed the tube at various directions, making the snow scatter around, the flames dying. The Viera who were dancing ran away onto higher platforms, however Vaan simply dismissed Belias and sat down for no apparent reason. His body was slowly being covered by the snow.

"What is that idiot doing?" Alja wondered out loud, eyes wide.

"My question is, why does my Village suddenly resemble the Feywood so greatly..." Jote murmured.

Eruyt Village did indeed look like the Feywood. Snow rested atop of leaves, glistening and already melting with the help of the sun. The Viera all looked down to where Vaan was supposed to be sitting. It was already fully white. Mjrn stopped the machine.

"Do not worry, there is no way he will die, unless he is stupid enough to cast a spell in order to preserve the snow." Mjrn assured.

Hearing the words of Jote's younger sibling, most of the Viera returned to their usual routine. Jote too, stood up and walked towards her house.

"Elder, something has happened." a Wood-Warder suddenly came running.

"What is it?" Hala answered for Jote.

"I do not know how, but the snow has affected the growth of fruit. It is now growing vividly. We should have more than enough food for a good while."

Jote sighed. At least the spectacle served for something good.

----------

A/N: Yay. I enjoyed writing this chapter, it shows how dense Vaan can be.


End file.
